Bigs, Middles, Littles and More – A Guide to Ageplay

Ageplay is a catch-all term for any type of BDSM roleplay that revolves around pretending you’re a different age (usually younger) than you currently are. It’s pretty common in the kink scene. That’s why at munches you might see full-grown adults dressed in pyjamas, sucking thumbs and clutching teddy bears.

There are lots of reasons people get into ageplay. Being young again, even if it’s only a game, can provide a feeling of comfort and safety – an escape from the adult world of responsibility, back pain, depression, and uninteresting cereal. Ageplay can be stress relieving, fun, and a great way of building powerful connections between partners.

Besides, who doesn’t like colouring in and watching Disney movies?

Contents

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Roles in ageplay

Age doesn’t indicate role

Age play can be sexual or nonsexual

Ageplay activity ideas

Roles in ageplay

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Everyone is different, but there are a few different categories that most ageplayers gravitate towards.

Adult babies

Adult babies are people who like to regress to a completely infantile state. Typically they’ll enjoy sucking on a pacifier, chilling out in a crib, and having every single need taken care of. All they have to do is gurgle, cry, and occasionally stick a marble up their nose.

Adult baby play usually doesn’t involve any sexual element (although it totally can do). For the most part what adult babies want is an escape from stress and responsibility. They want to return to a time when everything was taken care of for them.

Which, by the way, can include their… um… toileting needs. Yep: diapers. ABDL is an acronym for Adult Baby Diaper Lovers. An ABDL might intensely fetishize diapers and enjoying using them, or might just like to sometimes wear one as part of a roleplay session.

Remember, though: not everyone who’s into adult baby stuff is into diaper play, and not everyone who’s into diaper play is also into adult baby stuff. It takes all types to make a world.

Littles

Littles take on a child-like role during ageplay sessions. They might enjoy colouring in, going to the zoo, dressing in a romper suit, and staying up past bedtime eating snacks. I mean… most people enjoy those things, but littles enjoy them even more so.

Middles

Someone taking on a “middle” role is most likely to be roleplaying a teen. For me that would mean painting Warhammer and reading fantasy novels, since that was how I spent most of my teenage years. For more normal peeps, however, some typical middle activities include:

• Playing video games
• Going to the mall
• Sulking
• Experimenting with substances
• Reluctantly doing homework

Middles are often a little more bratty or rebellious than littles. There might be an element of a power struggle there, and punishment is often a big part of the fun.

Bigs

The counterpart to a little (or middle, or adult baby) is the big – the person who’s playing the adult. Thankfully it’s very easy to roleplay as an adult, since you are one already. Just be yourself, as the saying goes.

Or, equally, don’t be yourself. If you’re the big in a given scene you might wish to adopt the role of a mommy, daddy, teacher, uncle, or any other caregiver. It depends entirely on what feels right for you and your partner, and what comes naturally to you.

Daddy doms

A daddy dom is a specific type of dominant. The term means different things to different people, but in most cases indicates that ageplay is at least an element in a person’s kink. That said, some daddy doms don’t engage in age-based roleplay at all.

In these cases “daddy” refers not to a roleplay identity that they take on, but to a general sensitive and nurturing streak in their play. Daddy doms usually aren’t cruel, but instead want to look after their submissive/little/bottom and help them develop and grow (which, granted, might include giving them the occasional thorough spanking).

Siblings

In a given roleplay session there doesn’t always have to be a big and a little. You and your partner might both want to regress together… or you might regress to being a little while your partner becomes a middle. Likewise, if you have multiple partners to play with, there can be more than one little in a given scene.

“Siblings” is sometimes used as a generic term for multiple littles in a single scene. It doesn’t literally mean that they’re role-playing being siblings. That’s a whole different fetish.

Age doesn’t indicate role

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I said before that there’s an obvious power dynamic in ageplay – the big is in charge, and the little does what they’re told. Roughly speaking the big is taking on the role of the dominant partner (or top), and the little is taking on the role of the submissive partner (or bottom).

That said, it doesn’t always have to be that way. There are tonnes of scenarios where a little might actually be in charge:

• A spoiled little girl who has daddy wrapped around her finger
• A middle flirting with a hapless older man
• A little that enjoys bossing around their older siblings
• The progeny of royalty toying with servants and nannies

As with everything kink-related, there are no hard and fast rules. You decide what works for you. You decide what story you’re acting out. You decide your own level of involvement.

Age play can be sexual or nonsexual

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For many people, there’s nothing sexual about ageplay. The experience is solely about letting go of responsibility, relaxing, and having fun with a child-like mindset. These ageplayers may be cuddly and affectionate, but aren’t comfortable with anything sexual.

Equally, however, ageplay can be a sexual thing. And that, quite understandably, makes some people uneasy. Ageplay can be triggering for abuse survivors, and some people feel that, despite it involving no minors, it’s just kinda wrong.

It’s important to remember that, as with many BDSM activities, sexual ageplay is a fantasy based in the imagination. It is something that only consenting adults may engage in, and which is separate entirely from age-based attraction and abuse.

If you’re still uncertain, I strongly suggest you read this mature and eloquent piece published by the Prostasia Foundation.

Sexual ageplay isn’t for everyone. But if it’s something you’re into there is no need to feel weird or guilty about it. You’re an adult. As an adult – so long as you do no harm to yourself or others – you can explore your fictional fantasies any way you wish.

Ageplay activity ideas

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So you’re into ageplay. Hurrah. But what actually is it? How do you do it? What kind of thing do you get up to once you’re in a little (or a middle, or a big) headspace?

An ageplay session will often revolve around one or two activities – things that a little and a big can do together to have fun, relax, and explore their roleplay identities. Here are some ideas.

Colouring in

Colouring in is apparently so much fun that even totally vanilla adults do it as a means of stress relief. Get yourself a colouring book and some crayons off Amazon and go ham. Remember: there’s no need to stay within the lines. Express yourself. Soar like an eagle.

Snacks

Snacks can be given as a reward for a well-behaved little, but there’s also fun to be had in procuring or preparing snacks. This might include heading out to the store for pick ‘n’ mix, or (if you’re more health conscious) chopping up vegetables and putting them in cute tupperware containers for later.

Ask your little what snacks they like. Often they’ll have preferences that are uniquely satisfying to them. In my case, that’d be raw jelly cubes, straight from the pack. It’s nice. Trust me.

Playtime

If you’ve been into ageplay for any length of time you’ll almost certainly have accrued an extensive toybox. Crack it out and drive some cars around on the carpet, build some Legos, or improvise a costume drama with your stuffies. You know – like you used to just a few short decades ago.

Video Games

Video games are traditionally more of a middle activity, but you can find online games and quizzes that are fun for little identities too. If you’re totally unfamiliar with video games, I’d recommend something easy-going, cute and relaxing like Animal Crossing or A Short Hike.

Daytrips

Take your little to the zoo, to a local aquarium, or to any other place where they get to see cute animals. Big daytrips can be to theme parks, and little ones to the beach or to a local park. Don’t forget those aforementioned snacks.

Story Time

Being read to is, by any standard, an extremely pleasurable activity. For the little in your life, it’s perfect. You might wish to save story time for just before bed as a wind-down activity after playtime, or use it as an opportunity to patiently teach your little to read.

Again, ask your little if there are books that are particularly meaningful or relaxing to them.

Baking

Baking = a productive way to get incredibly messy and eat lots of sugar. Cooking something with your little can be a whole day activity if you include deciding on a recipe, going to buy ingredients, and portioning up the final product.

Rewards and Punishments

For some ageplayers, a large part of what gives them pleasure is a reward- and punishment-based dynamic. As much as they like chilling out and having no respobsibilities, they might also like having firm and certain rules.

One way to engage with this is to create a chart that you pin to the wall. Good behaviour earns them gold stars or stickers, while bad behaviour gets them taken away. At your discretion you can allow them to trade in a certain number of stars for a snack or more playtime.

Bathtime

Staying clean is important. Run a bath and stick some bubbles and some toys in there to keep them amused. Some littles are super attached to the smell and texture of no tears shampoo, too.

Naps

Being unconscious for a while doesn’t, by default, sound all that fun. For most people it’s the production around lying down for a nap that’s cosy and enjoyable: take your time as you put on pyjamas, dim the lights, play some quiet music, cuddle, and read a sleepy story.

Watch Stuff

YouTube Kids provides an almost endless stream of the kind of bright and genteel content that most littles enjoy. You could also spring for Disney+, or set up a Netflix login for your little – you can then monitor the content they watch even when you’re not around.