How To Make Fake Cum

Fake cum is any substance which resembles human semen in taste, texture, appearance or consistency.

It can be used in many different kinds of play. You can spurt it into a willing mouth from a syringe or squirting dildo. You can fill a bathtub with it and roll around in it. You can swallow it, or use it as lube, or act out a gangbang bukkake fantasy without having to deal with a lot of men in the process.

Fake cum is a lot of fun. Collected here are a bunch of different recipes for making it.

Contents

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Why do people play with fake cum?

Make your own fake cum

Buy ready-made fake cum

Playing with fake cum

Why do people play with fake cum?

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There are many reasons why people enjoy playing with fake cum. Here are some of them…

You like ejaculation but don’t have access to it

Having your partner ejaculate in or on you feels great. Squirting all over your partner’s face (even if you’re using a syringe rather than your dick) feels great too.

But maybe neither you nor your partner have a dick. Or maybe you can’t ejaculate. Or maybe you want to switch up who comes onto whom for a change.

Making fake cum allows you to enjoy the messy fun of ejaculation even if you don’t have access to the biological hardware to produce and dispense your own semen.

You enjoy copious ejaculation

The average human shoots out less than a teaspoon of semen each time they ejaculate. It can feel like a lot more when it’s all over your face, sure, but the actual amount is very small.

If you enjoy the thought of being covered in semen, taking multiple loads, or swallowing an obscene amount of cum, this limitation might be a bit of a let-down.

When you play with fake cum, you can make as much as you want, and use as much as you want in one go. Hurrah.

You’re making porn

If you’re shooting a conventional adult movie, you’re probably pretty concerned with getting a good, sizable cum-shot. Working with real spunk, this can be a difficult process: your actor may not be able to come on cue, and may need time to recharge between takes.

Realistic-looking fake semen offers a way around these issues.

You enjoy messy sensory play

Cum is fun to play with. It’s gloopy, slippy, silky and clingy in a way that’s pretty distinct from any other substance. There’s a great deal of sensory pleasure to be derived from playing with cum.

Having access to fake cum that feels like the real thing opens up a myriad of sensory possibilities. You can bathe in it. Use it as lube. Fill a squirting dildo with it. Spray it all over yourself and your partner. All the sensory, slippery fun you can imagine.

You don’t like the thought/texture/taste of real cum

It’s entirely legit to like the idea of your partner coming in or on you… while at the same time being put off by the taste, scent or texture of semen.

When making fake semen, it’s easy to modify the taste and feel to something that’s a lot more enjoyable for you. This can give you the chance to enjoy swallowing or playing with cum without having to deal with flavour issues.

You want to enjoy ejaculation without risking pregnancy

You like the feeling of having your partner ejaculate inside you… but the idea that you might get pregnant as a result is off-putting. Using contraceptives doesn’t fully address this fear.

If this is you: you can play around with the feeling of internal ejaculation using fake cum, with zero risk of getting pregnant.

Make your own fake cum

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Listed here is a selection of fake cum recipes. Pick and choose depending on what you intend to use your payload for, and what ingredients you have access to.

I encourage you to combine elements from different recipes, experimenting until you create a fake cum that suits you.

Yoghurt + Water

Edible: Yes ✔️ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Sometimes ⭕

Ingredients:

• Plain, natural yoghurt
• Water
• Pinch of salt (Optional)
• Grapefruit seed extract (Optional)

Process:

1. Dilute a quantity of natural yoghurt with water until it reaches a consistency that you find appealing
2. (Optionally) add a pinch of salt to modify the taste to your liking
3. (Optionally) add a droplet or two of grapefruit seed extract to modify the taste to your liking – this will help it last slightly longer in the fridge, as well
4. Use immediately, or store in the fridge for up to three days

Notes:

This is one of the simplest, easiest and quickest ways to make fake cum. By varying the ratios of ingredients you can produce a range of textures – it’s generally smooth, gloopy and little bit bitter. It tastes nothing like actual cum.

You can eat as much of this fake cum as you want. Yoghurt’s a healthy snack, and this cum has a very mild and inoffensive taste, which is great for anyone who doesn’t like the taste of cum, or isn’t used to swallowing loads of loads.

Many floofy wellness influencers advocate slathering your genitals with yoghurt. Doing so won’t kill you, but may cause yeast infections, so be cautious about using internally.

Egg White + Yoghurt + Cornstarch

Edible: Sometimes ⭕ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: No ❌

Ingredients:

• Water
• Cornstarch
• Egg
• Yoghurt
• Salt (Optional)

Process:

1. Combine ¼ of a cup of water with the cornstarch and mix together to make a smooth white liquid
2. Heat the remaining ¾ cup water on the stove. Once it’s simmering gently, add the cornstarch mixture and stir to combine. Keep simmering until the liquid is pleasantly thick.
3. Remove from the heat and let this thick mixture cool down completely.
4. Once it has cooled down, add the egg white to the mixture, along with the yoghurt and an optional pinch of salt for flavour. Stir well.
5. Use immediately

Notes:

This slightly more complex recipe produces a fake cum with an extremely pleasing and convincing texture. You can edit that texture by cooking it for longer, or varying the ratio of ingredients.

You can eat this fake cum, although bear in mind when doing so that raw egg white can be dangerous. Realistically, the risk is minimal, but it’s worth being aware of. Omit the egg white if this worries you.

This recipe includes dairy and raw egg, and so shouldn’t be squirted into or onto your genitals.

Xantham Gum + Glycerin

Edible: Yes ✔️ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Sometimes ⭕

Ingredients:

• Liquid glycerine
• Xantham gum
• Water
• Grapefruit seed extract (Optional)
• Salt (Optional)

Process:

1. Combine two tablespoons liquid glycerine with one teaspoon xantham gum and mix well.
2. Slowly add water, stirring all the while, until you’re pleased with the consistency.
3. Add a pinch of salt for taste, if desired. Add a drop or two of grapefruit seed extract for taste, if desired.
4. Use immediately, or store in the fridge for up to a day.

Notes:

This method produces a clear, slippery fake cum, the thickness of which can easily be adjusted by varying the amount of water in the recipe.

This fake cum is okay to eat in small quantities. More than a few mouthfuls might be a little sickly, as glycerine is very sweet.

Normally this fake cum wouldn’t be good to put in your vagina, although if made with high-quality vegetable glycerine it should be absolutely fine. If in doubt, only use this cum externally and orally.

Methyl Cellulose + Water

Edible: Yes ✔️ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Yes ✔️

Ingredients:

• Methyl cellulose
• Water
• Salt (Optional)

Process:

1. Boil a kettle, then add a little cold water to it so that you have hot-but-not-boiling water.
2. Stir a tablespoon of methyl cellulose into ½ a cup of hot-but-not-boiling water until it dissolves and the water thickens into a gel.
3. Add cold water little by little, stirring as you do so, until it achieves a pleasing consistency.
4. Add a pinch of salt for flavour, if desired.
5. Use immediately, or store in the fridge for up to a day.

Notes:

You might not have heard of methyl cellulose before, but it’s a thickener that’s often used to make cum on porn sets. You can buy it on Amazon.

This fake cum is safe to eat in moderate quantities. If you use only a spoonful of methyl cellulose in your batch of fake cum, you can eat as much as you like.

Pleasingly, this fake cum can also be squirted into your various orifices without causing any major problems. Hurrah!

Buy ready-made fake cum

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Maybe you don’t want to spend time in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cum. If so, you can buy it ready-made. Here are some realistic(ish) “cum lubes” that you can buy.

As well as being ready-made, these lubes generally last longer than homemade fake cum, and arrive in a convenient tube or bottle.

Liquid Silk

Edible: No ❌ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Yes ✔️

Liquid Silk (available from Lovehoney UK and Bondara and UberKinky) is a water-based lubricant with an opaque white appearance and smooth, slightly creamy texture. It’s a good all-round lubricant, and I’ve recommended it so many times before you might already have a bottle handy.

Although it’s not suitable for consumption, with a little imagination it can certainly stand in for cum. It lasts a long time, and is non-tacky. A great, all-purpose stand-in for cum.

Yes WB Water-Based Organic Personal Lubricant

Edible: Yes ❌ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Yes ✔️

Yes WB Water-Based Organic Personal Lubricant (available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US and SheVibe) also has a distinctly cum-like texture. It’s less white, less opaque, and more watery… but texturally it hits the spot. It also makes use of relatively simple organic ingredients, making it a good choice for anyone who may have had a bad reaction to other lubes.

Bondara Spunk Lubricant

Edible: Yes ❌ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Yes ✔️

Bondara Spunk Lubricant (available from Bondara) is a silvery, slick lube that somewhat resembles cum – it’s a good analogue, but definitely not the most realistic. It’s extremely slippery and silky, and stays wet for a long time during play. It also has a scent that’s somewhat reminiscent of semen.

Porn Sperm

Edible: Unknown ❓ | Condom compatible: Unknown ❓ | Vaginal/anal use: Unknown ❓

Porn Sperm Artificial Sperm (available from Bondara) is extremely realistic. It has a very slightly jelly-ish texture which means it globs together like cum… but this disappears when it’s played with, and it ends up just being sleek and slippery. It also captures the slightly off-white colour of semen perfectly.

Downsides: the packaging is ugly, and there’s not really enough information available to know if it’s safe to consume or use genitally.

Spunk Hyrid Personal Lubricant

Edible: Yes ❌ | Condom compatible: Yes ✔️ | Vaginal/anal use: Yes ✔️

Spunk Hybrid Personal Lubricant (available from Bondara and UberKinky) is my personal favourite store-bought fake cum. It’s silvery and quite thick, but spreads nicely and is plenty slippery. It lasts a long time, smells pleasant but semen-y, and feels good against the skin.

Playing with fake cum

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Squirting dildos

A squirting dildo is a dildo with a silicone tube running up the centre of the shaft. Plug the end of this tube into a syringe full of your favourite fake cum and you can make the dildo squirt on cue.

Some squirting dildos come with a bulb rather than a syringe. Avoid these. They’re impossible to clean and don’t work very well.

Instead, I’d recommend the Doc Johnson Bust It Ejaculating Realistic Dildo (available from Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US). With some modifications this toy can be properly cleaned. The syringe works well, and it comes with a reliable Vac-U-Lock sucker attachment for mounting the toy on flat surfaces.

Syringes

You don’t need to… splash out… on a squirting dildo to squirt your fake cum around. A syringe works just fine. You can buy a whole bag of disposable ones on Amazon which work just fine for spraying around some imitation spunk.

You can also find purpose-made lube syringes, like the Lube Tube Applicator Syringe (available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Bondara and UberKinky). These are thick plastic syringes with smooth, broad tips – making them comfortable for insertion. If you clean them thoroughly between uses, they’re reusable too.

Roll around in it

A surprisingly good time can be had by filling up a paddling pool with fake lube and rolling around, wrestling, or just hanging out in it. Messy and slippery, but fulfilling.

Indeed, you can buy a purpose-made inflatables for wet and messy play, like the Fist It Inflatable Play Sheet (available from Bondara). As a bonus, this particular product comes with an extra-large bottle of concentrated lube.

You can also use your bathtub, but be aware that filling it with fake cum is going to leave it incredibly slippery for the next time you want to take an actual bath.