Hitting someone (consensually) in the face, even with an open hand, is always going to be a little bit dangerous. Your face is where you keep your brain, eyes, teeth and other gooey essential organs. Hitting it can, in the wrong circumstances, cause some pretty stupid injuries.
Fear of causing injury (or being injured) causes some kinky couples to exclude face-slapping from their to-do list. Which is a shame, because moderate face-slapping can be a thoroughly enjoyable experience for both the giver and the receiver alike.
Like most fun-but-dangerous kink activities, the key to enjoying face-slapping is finding ways to mitigate the risk. Here are some suggestions.
Contents
Preparation
Obvious first step: remove rings or other jewellery from your hand, and make sure your nails are neat and blunt. Badly-placed hangnails are the worst.
If the slapee has piercings in the danger zone (lip piercings are particularly tricky), aim for the other side of their face, remove them or cover them with tape. Definitely get rid of any big, hooped earrings before you start.
Your partner’s jaw should be closed to minimise the possibility of dislocation from a misplaced slap. To get them to close their jaw you can ask them to loosely clench their teeth, or simply smile.
It’s not a good idea to slap someone in the face while they’re wearing a gag.
By this stage of play you’ll already have done some negotiation, and thus gotten a rough sketch of your partner’s medical history. Do they have any complex, fragile dental work? Do they have a recently-healed face wound? Are they prone to dislocating bones? All of these things indicate that you should be extra extra careful.
Finally (and this one should be a given, but I’ll say it anyway) do take a moment to ascertain whether or not your partner actually enjoys being slapped before you just wind up and go for it.
Guidelines
Hit your partner forehanded, not backhanded. The open side of your hand has way more padding than the back – which is mostly bone. You’ll perceive the difference very clearly if you try slapping a table with your palm and then with the back of your hand. Ouch.
You’re aiming to hit your partner with the padding on your fingers, and avoid any bone-on-bone contact.
Aim for the fleshy part of their cheek. Below the cheekbone, above the jawline, and at least an inch of two short of the ear. Hit with the pads of your fingers. Don’t hit with the ridge of bone at the base of your fingers, or with the palm. Keep your hand flat but loose. Keep their hands out of the way so they don’t knock you off target.
When you go to hit someone they will often (surprise, surprise) flinch. To ensure that you don’t end up whacking them in the ear you can hold them in place by the hair, of loosely cup the opposite side of their face. Don’t hold them in place so rigidly that they can’t shift a little when they take the slap.
The first time you slap your partner, do it gently, like you’re trying to wake up a sleeping baby bird rather than kneading pizza dough. Work your way up to hitting them harder little by little, checking in with them constantly as you do.
Injuries
When you slap someone in the face, you are hitting one of the most sensitive and easily-damaged parts of the human body. Follow the above guidelines and the likelihood of causing any serious injury is minimal – but you should be aware of what can happen all the same.
Perforated eardrum
This can happen when you hit the ear, forcing air into the ear canal. The sudden spike of pressure can damage the fragile eardrum and cause serious pain, as well as temporary or permanent hearing loss.
Solution: avoid hitting the ear. Go see a doctor if your partner experiences pain or a loss of hearing in one ear after being hit there.
Dislocated jaw
Sounds melodramatic, but it is totally possible to dislocate the jaw with a hard slap. To avoid this, have your partner loosely clench their jaw, and remind them to keep their mouth shut.
If it happens: hospital. Dislocated jaws do sometimes pop back in of their own accord, but it’s unwise to try and slot it back in place with your clumsy human fingers. Let a professional handle it.
Chipped tooth
Again, ensure that your partner loosely clenches their teeth before you slap them, and make sure you’re aware of any vulnerable dental work.
If you do chip a tooth, retain the chipped piece (if it’s a biggie, keep it submerged in milk to increase the possibility of reattachment) and see a dentist as soon as possible. Oh, and brush your teeth three times a day, kids. Dental hygiene is cool.
Head injury
A very small amount of localised swelling, tingling, lingering pain or tightness in the skin is normal. If any of these things are anything other than mild, consult a medical professional.
Although a slap is unlikely to cause a serious head injury, it is possible. Double vision, nausea, confusion or a worsening headache can all mean serious trouble, so seek medical advice immediately if you notice these, or any other symptoms of a head injury.
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Thanks so much for putting this together!
You’re welcome. It’s a weird kind of public service I provide around here.
I have had to encourage each and every one of my boyfriends to do this to me. And even when they did it was never hard enough. Just because I look petite and breakable DOESNT mean you have to treat me like I’m made of glass.
Show them this. Hope it helps!
This is a one of the better resources I’ve seen on this topic. Thank you.
You’re welcome – glad you liked it!
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“Remind them to keep their mouth shut” Oh fuck yeah
Some playmates need to be reminded more often than others!