What a Spanking Means

Sometimes when I spank a partner I am playing a game with them. They’ve done something that we agreed they would not do: masturbated without permission, or failed to finish homework I set them. A minor infraction, usually, and one which I’m not particularly surprised they have committed.

I’m not angry at them. Not really angry. We are both pretending. Both maintaining a consensual illusion. Both playing a role. They are playing the role of an errant submissive, and I am playing the role of daddy or dom or master or owner. It’s a game. It’s a game we both enjoy.

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Sometimes when I spank a partner it is more serious than a game. Sometimes they have done something really wrong. They want to be punished. Want to feel punished. Want to be reminded that I am in control, that they are owned.

By letting me punish them they are apologising, making restitution. They are affording me the opportunity to demonstrate that I care about them. They are letting me work off any feelings that linger, any anger that might otherwise remain unexpressed.

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Sometimes when I spank a partner it is to hurt them as much as possible. To make them bleed.  To explore and expand for them the limits of the pain they can endure. To push them past milestones of pain they haven’t yet touched.

When I hurt a partner in this way it is (mostly) for the aftermath. It is to get them to a place they can only get to through pain – severe pain, sometimes. Through being punished, and used, and controlled. It is to take them to a place they want to go.

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Sometimes when I spank my partner I do it because it turns me on, and because I imminently want to fuck them, and because it pleases me to see them squirm and bite the pillow and scrabble when I hit them. Because it does something to my sadist brain to hear them cry out in pain. Because it makes me hard.

And, of course, because it is physically satisfying to me to be able to feel the heat in their skin from where I hit them as I sink into their body from behind.

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Like any act, spanking means different things and achieves different things depending on context, and mood, and the intention behind the act. It is nuanced in a way that you might not consider hitting another person with a hand (or a belt, or a tawse, or a cane) could be.

These are a few of the things it can mean to me. There are many, many more.