You will pick up where you left off on a sunny day in summer, 48 hours after one-on-one contact becomes legal once more. He’ll have changed. Gained a little weight, become pale, grown out his hair. He’ll have a slightly wide-eyed look. When he speaks he’ll struggle for words more often than he ever did before.
You’ll go to your bedroom. There’s traffic on the road outside. You can hear it. There’s voices. At first you’ll fuss around each other, avoiding the moment of touch. You’ll make him a cup of tea. He’ll remove his tie. Sit awkwardly on the edge of your bed.
When it does happen everything will feel like it did the first time. Unknown territory. He reacts to your touch, draws up into it, presses close to you. Before, when you saw each other once a week, you rarely kissed. This time you will kiss extensively, extravagantly, silently except for your breathing.
You will be able to smell him. A pleasant scent like whisky. You remember that scent from before, where you would catch it sometimes in the crook of his neck or an armpit or his chest. But it was never so strong. The only person you will have smelled for a hundred days, at this stage, is you.
He’ll apologise the first time he puts a hand on your breasts. He’ll take it away. You’ll both laugh. He’ll put it back. One tingling, almost painful charge will travel from there, where his palm rests, all the way to the top of your head. You’ll put your hands on him too, apologise too. You won’t be able to help it.
He won’t last long. It won’t be as effortless and animal as it was before. It will be breathy and careful. A slow, tremulous fuck that lasts only a minute, but that’s fine, because you will already have come the moment he put his dick inside you.
You’d never normally cuddle. Not before. Before you would roll apart, recover, check phones, make small talk. But this time you don’t let each other go. This time he’ll hold you, and he’ll apologise for it being so quick. He’ll explain what doesn’t need explaining. “I’m sorry,” he’ll say. “It’s been a while.”
*
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This made me feel so much in its reading. I think you have captured so much in this short piece and it really packs a punch. I love your writing. 😊
Thank you! That means a lot – so glad you found something in this.
Rather touching…. Oddly so. But hungry for that stage
Me too! Cannot wait for casual sex to be legal again.
This really has me thinking about my sexting buddy. Wondering if we will get together in person when it’s safe to. We would never normally cuddle. I really could use a cuddle right now.
I hope so. Maybe one positive result of all this is that we end up closer with those we cherish. Fingers crossed!
I actually read this twice, and both times it touched my heart, made me realize how privileged I am to be locked up with the one I love, and how hard it must be for people who are locked up alone, and not able to see those they used to interact with on a physical level. These are strange times we live in, and I hope the world is a gentler place when we come out on the other side. I’m sure we will cherish many personal interactions a lot more than we did before. Great writing!
Rebel xox
I’m not big on physical contact, but at the moment that’s what I miss the most. Can’t wait to be on the other side of this! Thanks for reading.
I actually shed a tear at the end. I was so drawn in and could feel their need!
Great work!
xo
Thank you! Glad it reached you in that way.
This is absolutely delightful, and I imagine many people will have this kind of experience that “first time” again.
It’s amazing the difference a week or six of complete isolation can make!
many have been solo since all this began. so many hopes after this for a reuniting and embracing of a lover they have been torn from. Well done
It’s a moment that I hope is coming soon for many of those people.
I was looking forward to the new normal before, but now I’m aching for it. There will be some awkwardness in some relationships, but it will be so wonderful when that energy returns.
That awkwardness, the newness – that’s something that I really treasure sometimes. Looking forward to it.
[…] You will pick up where you left off on a sunny day in summer, 48 hours after one-on-one contact becomes legal once more. He’ll have changed. Gained a little weight, become pale, grown out his hair. He’ll have a slightly wide-eyed look. When he speaks he’ll struggle for words more often than he ever did before. Keep reading. […]
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