Assembling Your Ideal Set of Bondage Restraints

If you’re into bondage, there are a rainbow of different restraints available to experiment with – everything from joke-gift fluffy handcuffs to alarming stainless steel hardware. But none of it’s cheap… which means, generally speaking, you can’t just get one of everything.

So what restraints should you spend your bondage budget on?

Well… first and foremost, you should look for restraints that pique your interest, or that you or your partner feel a desire to play with. Be guided by what turns you on. If you’re drawn to rope, focus on rope. If leather cuffs are more interesting to you, look for those instead. Your first concern should be what interests you.

Contents

---

Things to consider when buying restraints

An index of BDSM restraints

A note on safety

Things to consider when buying restraints

---

Among your secondary concerns should be some of the following…

Quality

Super-cheap restraints are available on platforms like Amazon and AliExpress, but these generally aren’t as good a deal as they seem. Suspiciously cheap bondage gear is often:

• Poorly made
• Made from toxic materials
• Not as described or pictured
• Ill-fitting

You’ll save time, money and energy by purchasing from reputable retailers. We recommend Lovehoney USA, Lovehoney UK and Bondara. Yes, their gear is more expensive, but you’ll get what you pay for… and none of it will break or give you a skin rash.

Severity

Do you and your partner want strict restraints that absolutely cannot be escaped from? The really hardcore stainless steel stuff looks sexy, but for a lot of people it’s actually too unyielding to be enjoyable.

Many people only feel comfortable exploring bondage with restraints that they can slip out of if necessary, or with restraints that are somewhat flexible and forgiving. Strict restraints aren’t always fun; don’t waste money on them if you and your partner won’t enjoy playing with them.

Comfort

Do you want restraints to be comfortable for the person wearing them? For some masochists, the answer is a definite no – the discomfort caused by restraints is part of the fun of bondage.

For other people, however, comfort matters – especially if the restraints are to be worn for extended sessions. If that’s you, err towards padded or fur-lined restraints made from flexible materials like leather and silicone.

Ease of cleaning

If your restraints are just for you, you won’t need to totally sanitise them between uses, and so can opt for restraints that are difficult to fully clean (fluffy handcuffs, for example).

If you’ll be sharing your restraints with other people, however, you’ll want to pick gear that’s more hard-wearing and wipeable. Stainless steel restraints can be sanitised, making them safe and pleasant for sharing. Fluffy handcuffs, by contrast, cannot.

Colour scheme

Even if you’re just buying one or two pieces of bondage gear right now, it’s worth looking to see if there are matching items available – you may want to expand your collection later. A matching set of cuffs and collars is more pleasing than a set that’s been pulled together hodge-podge.

Types of BDSM restraint

---

With all that in mind, you should be able to put together a collection that works well, looks good, is safe to play with, and will last for many sessions to come.

For the purposes of inspiration, here are a few things you might wish to include in that collection…

Wrist restraints

The most ubiquitous kind of wrist restraint is the classic leather cuff. These generally fasten with a buckle, and come with a D-ring to which you can attach trigger clips and chains to facilitate actual restraint.

Also in this category, though, you’ll find police-style handcuffs and a range of other specialist restraints.

Type of Cuff	Severity	Pros	Cons
Decorative	Low	Pretty	Delicate, fiddly
Velcro	Low	Cheap	Cheap-looking
Plain leather	Medium	Easy to clean	Less comfortable
Padded leather	Medium	Comfortable	Not easy to clean
Police handcuffs	High	Very secure	Fiddly, uncomfortable
Fluffy handcuffs	Medium	Cute, amusing	Fiddly, uncomfortable
Silicone	Low	Comfortable, easy to use	Not secure
Metal	High	Look good	Uncomfortable, expensive

By the way, none of the above wrist cuffs are suitable for stringing someone up by the wrists. For those you’ll want suspension cuffs (if you didn’t know that already, by the way, you should do more research before attempting any kind of suspension).

Ankle restraints

Ankle cuffs are basically the same as wrist cuffs, but bigger and thicker to accommodate ankles rather than slender wee wrists. As with wrist cuffs, there are several options.

Type of Cuff	Severity	Pros	Cons
Velcro	Low	Cheap	Cheap-looking
Plain leather	Medium	Easy to clean	Less comfortable
Padded leather	Medium	Comfortable	Not easy to clean

Metal ankle cuffs, by the way, do exist. They’re just not included here because they’re so massively uncomfortable that almost nobody likes playing with them.

Thigh cuffs

Solo cuffs for the thighs generally won’t stay in place very well… unless combined with something to keep them in situ. For that reason thigh restraints are often bundled with something else, like this set from Bondara which includes wrist restraints, or this set from Lovehoney which includes wrist and lower leg restraints.

Thumb cuffs

Thumb cuffs are metal implements which lock around the wearer’s thumbs, holding them in place. They’re often sold as a novelty rather than as a serious bondage tool, but there are decent thumb cuffs available.

Bondara sell an interesting variation on standard thumb cuffs which incorporates them into a set of strict wrist cuffs.

Rope

Many people are discouraged from trying rope bondage because of the misty-eyed, Jedi-master aura assigned to it by the kink community in general. Actually, rope bondage is pretty simple. You can teach yourself some quick, easy, safe knots to use in the bedroom in about 20 minutes. Here’s a good resource for that.

For basic rope stuff (IE: not suspension, not complex ties) it hardly matters what rope you use. Most kinds of cotton or hemp rope are fine for this purpose. Most synthetic ropes are too, but may not be as comfortable or easy to work with. It’s completely legit to buy bondage rope from your local hardware store – it’s cheap and you can get an idea of texture and elasticity before you buy.

While you’re shopping, pick up some safety shears. These are way better than scissors for cutting rope that’s been pulled too tight.

And, if you don’t want to learn any knots but still want to play with rope, you can get pre-made rope toys, which require no knot-tying knowledge whatsoever.

Collars

Collars go around the neck. BDSM folk put a lot of meaning in collars, but they are also valid just as toys for bondage play. For these purposes, a basic dog collar works just fine, but you can also get a range of other purpose-made bondage collars.

Type of Collar	Specifications
Leather	Somewhat adjustable, has attachment points, traditional
Satin	Pretty and light, but not secure or suitable for bondage
Velcro	Comfortable, easy to use, infinitely adjustable
Posture	Uncomfortable, but enforces upright posture
Metal	Heavy, cold, but very secure and looks good

Hogties

Hogties are cross-shaped assemblages of leather and metal designed to allow you to restrain someone in the hogtie position. Some come with cuffs, like this one, while others have to be combined with wrist and ankle cuffs to get the full effect.

There’s very little to say about there, except that they’re useful for hogtying someone. You can absolutely hogtie someone without one, but using a hogtie makes it more comfortable for the person being tied, and doesn’t require as much flexibility from them.

Humblers

A humbler is a device that clamps in place around the wearer’s balls, and can then be attached to another part of their body – usually the thighs or ankles. The constant prospect of testicular torment keeps the wearer in a kneeling position.

This simple wooden number from Bondara is a solid and reliable humbler.

Humblers are fairly strict, but if you’re into a little bit of cock and ball torture they’re likely an excellent addition to your bondage collection.

Collar-to-wrist cuffs

These bondage toys are available in a range of formats, but the most common one consists of a collar connected to a set of cuffs by a long strap… which may have some attachment points on too.

They’re pretty fun… although it should be noted that they’re very much a unitask item. You can achieve the same result by purchasing some cuffs, a collar, some trigger clips and a chain… creating a kit that can be used in multiple configurations, not just one.

Positional restraints

Toys like these are often sold as restraints, but that’s pushing the description. They’re wearable items that do inhibit movement a little bit, but mainly serve to make some sex positions more comfortable. If that’s what you’re looking for, go for it. If you want restraints, you’d be better off purchasing a collar, cuffs, and various lengths of chain and trigger clips to assemble your own.

Harnesses

Harnesses like these don’t do much restraining by themselves, but are very aesthetically pleasing. The point of these, from a bondage perspective, is to create a network of attachment points all over the body, to which cuffs, chains, ropes and other fun things can be fastened.

Spreader bars

A spreader bar is a rigid bar with an attachment point on either end. Placed between the legs (and fastened to ankle cuffs) it keeps the wearer’s legs open in a way that’s generally very pleasing.

Under the spreader bar banner you also have restraints like this – which use a strap rather than a rigid bar. As such, they don’t really do much spreading, but instead work as restraints. Maybe that’s what you’re after – but don’t confuse them with a rigid spreader bar.

Under-bed/over-door restraints

These restraints work with your furniture to allow for some fun bondage options. Under-the-bed restraints are generally long straps that run under your bed, and – combined with cuffs – allow you to restrain someone in a spreadeagle position.

Over-the-door restraints go over the top of a door, and are pinned in place when the door is closed. You can then use to them to restrain someone with their hands above their head. They’re usually not suitable for bearing someone’s full bodyweight, though – for that you’d need a much better attachment point, and more comfortable and supportive wrist cuffs.

Zip ties

Zip ties can be used as wrist restraints, or to attach someone to something. For bondage, you want wide zip-ties – both to prevent cutting off circulation and to make them harder to break. If you can get reuseable ones, all the better – as this mitigates the risk of going too tight.

Safety shears are, again, very useful here. They make it possible to cut off tightened zip ties with minimal risk of cutting the person they’re attached to.

Bondage tape

Bondage tape is specially designed for bondage – it sticks only to itself, and so won’t hurt the person being bound when it’s ripped off. If the person being bound is into pain, though, you can just as well use duct tape… although you should be cautious when removing it. That stuff is stickier than you think.

A note on safety

---

This is a guide designed to help you build a collection of bondage equipment that suits you. It’s not a guide on how to do bondage safely. You should familiarise yourself with any equipment you use, and with the risks involved in any kind of bondage.

To that end, there are some other items you might want to pick up while assembling your dream bondage bag: safety shears and the contents of a well-stocked BDSM first aid kit come to mind.